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myles golden
January 19, 2014
Being a Victim is a Choice

Being a Victim is a Choice

Being on the receiving end of any type of attack sucks. But seeing yourself as a victim is far worse.  A while ago, a friend asked me to write about bullying because she was being harassed by a few former friends.  I couldn’t understand why she was allowing them to affect her so much.  For me, the answer is simple.  Who cares?  If someone is talking badly about you or they are trying to bring you down, remove yourself from their lives.  I have many vivid childhood memories of girls talking behind my back or saying mean things out of jealousy.  Yet I never let them hurt me because my self esteem would not allow it.  If I let them affect me, that meant that I was giving my power away and I was buying into their delusions.

The reality is that it takes two in order for the bully and victim dynamic to work.  Without a victim, the person who is trying to lower the vibration of another will simply be left alone in their own misery.  Even in extreme situations involving rape and other kinds of violent attacks, we still have a choice in how we see ourselves afterward.  When we encounter someone who tries to put us down or when we experience the pain of someone else’s actions, we can choose to take on the role of victim, or simply move on unscathed.

I recently watched an interview between Helane Lipson, a psychic and Inelia Benz, an energy worker. Helane asks what to do about family members who lower her vibration.  I like to call these people energy vampires.  She goes on to describe how she has to put on protective crystals and really prepare herself mentally and emotionally for these interactions.  Inelia laughs and says, “you don’t need protection unless you are consenting to being attacked.  Nobody can affect you without your consent.  You simply don’t give them the right or the permission to hurt you.”  Aha!  it makes so much sense.  If someone calls you to bring you down, hang up and if they call back tell them that you will not engage with them unless they are planning on raising your vibration with love and peace.

If you are in a relationship with someone who is not supportive and puts you down, end the relationship.  If you have a friend who drains your energy, don’t be their friend.  We always have a choice and sometimes we unconsciously remain in relationships that don’t serve us simply because we think we don’t have a choice.  We also have to get better at setting the standard for the way people treat us and not allowing anything but positivity to flow our way.  It all boils down to self esteem and it’s extremely important that we teach our children not to base their value on what other people think about them.  We have to teach them the importance of self worth –  not the value that other people and relationships give them but rather independent, unconditional self worth that will help them stand like tall pillars of strength in the midst of attack.

To see the conversation betwee Inelia and Helane, watch here at the 22:00 mark.

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