March 5, 2020

Kundalini is Begging to Be Free…of Lies

Dear Yogis,

If you have been attending my classes in person at Buddhi Yoga for the past month, I have been sharing my process of the truth about Yogi Bhajan and the kundalini community that have come forth since the publication of Premka: White Bird in a Golden Cage by Pamela Dyson.

For those of us kundalini teachers living on the outskirts of the kundalini community, these truth bombs have been disruptive but also validating. Guided by our gut and intuition, we have been distancing ourselves because of trauma, spiritual bullying, the feeling that something isn’t right, or not wanting to participate in the Guru worship of Yogi Bhajan. Even the biggest skeptics had no idea how bad this was going to get, and it keeps getting worse day by day.

As an early member of a closed Facebook group discussing the book, I have been reading first hand accounts of abuses by Yogi Bhajan and within the community at large. They are horrible and heartbreaking and being offered almost daily. A recent article summarizes all that has come up to date in the momentum following the publication of Premka.

What I’ve also learned is that Yogi Bhajan created much of the practice from two teachers he studied with in India, along with a little creative mastery of his own. Neither of these teachers are ever referenced in any kundalini training. You can read more about this in this peer reviewed article.

It has become clear that Yogi Bhajan as presented by the organizations* that preserve and profit from all of his teachings was nothing like the narrative we have been told. He was a sexual predator of girls and women, abuser of children, and a madman who pressured followers into arranged marriages. He then shamed these couples into sending children as young as two years old away to school in India. What he spoke about when it came to women’s teachings and empowerment were in direct conflict with how he treated women, and that is putting it mildly.

Late last night I received an email that the kundalini organizations that represent the leadership of this “lineage” have finally hired a third party investigator to look into “claims” of abuse. However, the scope of the investigation is miniscule. It is only addressing allegations of abuse by Yogi Bhajan and is not clear if these allegations will cover sexual, emotional, financial, and spiritual abuse. What is clear is that the report will be completed by June, just in time for the community’s big gathering, Summer Solstice. This is a gathering where children have been molested and is something the report will not cover.

When students come to my class, some will have an experience of remembering their True Identity.  We call this Sat Nam and it can be very profound.  I don’t say this to be arrogant.  This is the power of these simple practices and can happen when anyone teaches them. They will often come up to me afterwards asking, “how can I learn more? I want to do the Kundalini Teacher Training.” In the patriarchy we are told if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all. This is what I usually did. However, in the matriarchy, we need to give people the truth. And a hug. Here is my truth: you know what needs to be investigated? 3ho and the kundalini community.

The murky anti-soul agenda world of kundalini trainings will siphon your curiosity and sweet intentions.  Slowly at first, with seemingly innocent statements like, “oh you should go to Solstice,” or “oh you should do Level 2 training.” Instead of going down this road, I am telling you to stop and take stock.  Practice restraint. From what I have experienced, seen and learned, these paths and this community does not care about you or your Soul Identity emerging.  It cares about feeding itself with your energy, money, and curiosity. Don’t do it. At worse you or your child could be abused, you will lose a lot of money and you’ll take a long detour from actually living your life. At best you will be duped into working for the “mission” of Yogi Bhajan to create teachers in the Aquarian Age. And you will inadvertently be contributing to the messed up logic of this community that anything done for this mission, including abuse and criminal activity…is fine.

I began kundalini in earnest when I was pregnant with my first child.  I was letting go of my law career and lawyer identity. Instantly I noticed when I did the exercises I felt a strong connection to the Divine and my anxiety vanished. Shortly after that my husband was diagnosed with Stage 4 cancer while I was pregnant. I navigated that experience in a clear-headed, centered way and I believe this was due to a regular kundalini practice.

However, when I would open my eyes and come back to the classes and communities where I was practicing, I felt my third eye close, vibration lower, and a need to get out and quickly get back home to my home with my peacefulness, and a solid connection to my intuition. After this happened so many times, I decided to extricate myself from the community but keep the practice, and always trust my gut. I think that is what has kept me dancing on the proverbial edge of a sword when it comes to the teachings where I do continue to get clarity about how to live, continue to nurture a simple, powerful existence, and continue on a path of being a loving mother and wife, without having this practice chip away energetically at what is important to me.

The kundalini I teach at Buddhi Yoga has evolved from an ongoing distancing from the kundalini community. I take the practice one day a time, with no commitment to serving any “mission.” I intentionally try to make sure everything I teach has been rinsed of shame, and should and dogma.

The hijacking of people’s sincerity and curiosity about Soul and the nature of the cosmos is and has been a sinister and real part of this path the closer you get to the center of this community, and this is coming to light. And that is why I am sharing this with anyone practicing with me, so you can be vigilant and on guard against any subconscious programming that makes you want to give up any of your power, money or energy to this “mission” that was supposed to help Souls become awakened in this Age, but has instead created harms that last lifetimes.

I don’t have faith that these kundalini organizations will responsibly and take “right action” which would be throwing themselves at the mercy of the people whose childhoods was stolen and families were wrecked. They have been financially benefitting from these teachings for so long there is no incentive to take the side of victims in a powerful way, other than it is the true yogic thing to do!

It’s not easy to see someone you have put on a pedestal go up in flames. I never saw Yogi Bhajan as my Guru. But, I am compassionate for anyone who did. However…now is the time to focus on finding the truth and honoring the victims who have been silenced.

As for Kundalini at Buddhi Yoga and YourBuddhi…I think our little corner of the kundalini world is pretty safe in that we all seem to like kundalini sans dogma, and myself and Amanda and Jon all teach from our practice and experience, and not from a place of blind worship or need to be in the kundalini community at large. The only thing that will be different is our capacity to hold the victims in compassion and understand the shadow and suffering that made these manuals we teach from come into being

From this space, my hope is that we finally leave behind a practice that was patriarchal and based in lies. And that we move into a new era of kundalini that is based in rigorous honesty and real love, with compassion for anyone harmed, and that our practice empowers us to live from our direct connection to Creator, and listen to our gut and intuition, encouraging the same in those around us…

For the online students, here are 3 current classes that go into these topics and will bring you up to speed:

Smart Devotion
Shame Residue
Playfulness of the Divine Feminine

In the awakening, in the awakening
I will have no bosses,
I will not bow my head
In the awakening, in the awakening
I will want for nothing, I will give you a gift
In the awakening, in the awakening
-Lucinda Williams

Welcome to the Awakening, Yogis.


List of Kundalini Organizations that are pursuing the “third party investigation”: Kundalini Research International, 3Ho, Sikh Dharma International

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